Completely Serious Thoughts

Alas, we have reached dying days. One loss was acceptable, the 2nd-consecutive loss was irritating, the 3rd straight loss made me start questioning my (lack of) faith, but Friday night was the last straw. With four losses in a row, clearly the sky is about to fall. Clearly the world is about to end. Let’s face it, the Rangers aren’t very good and there’s no way they can come back to win the division now.

Why can’t the lineup get hits when men are in scoring position? I thought that’s what their job was. It’s obviously Dave Magaden’s fault since he’s the hitting coach and his job is to get the players to hit the ball. Yeah, it’s his fault. The Rangers should fire Dave Magaden right now because the team has been in a slump.

Why isn’t Jon Daniels making any trades? The team sucks right now so it’s his job as the GM to make the team better right now. I hate that this little nerd with his fancy calculators took over Nolan Ryan’s gig as the team president. After all, Nolan is the reason we made it to two different World Series’. He taught all the pitchers how to pitch like he did, and now they are good. He’s brought a tough culture to Arlington that we really haven’t had before. Maybe if they gave Nolan more power the team would start playing well again.

I think the biggest reason why the Rangers can’t win is because Jon Daniels traded Michael Young, and basically just allowed Josh Hamilton and Mike Napoli to leave them. Wrong move. The team can’t win because the locker room isn’t the same anymore.

I’m thinking the only solution to this mess is to get rid of that young president/GM and let Nolan take over the reigns. Then we can trade Leury Garcia and David Murphy for Justin Verlander, try to get Clayton Kershaw from the Dodgers for … Nelson Cruz, maybe? Yeah, maybe the Dodgers would take Nelson Cruz for Clayton straight up.

But mainly we need offense, so let’s trade Craig Gentry for Mike Trout, Justin Grimm for Carlos Gonzalez, and let’s see, what else do we need? I hate Michael Kirkman so let’s try to get an elite closer but oh wait Kirkman is on the 60-day DL so we wouldn’t be able to trade him oh well I’m just another idiot fan and nothing that I write makes sense anyway….