Holiday Season Ranger Poetry


Robinson and Haidey Chirinos with Martin Perez and his wife in front of the Christmas tree at Scottish Rite’s Hospital for Children on December 11th. Photographed by Brice Paterik.

This works best if it is read aloud with a singsong like cadence but it’s completely up to you. Also this can or cannot be played as back ground music while you read.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, in the clubhouse’s floors

Not a player was stirring, not even Odor!

The jersey’s were hung in their lockers with care,
In hopes that spring training soon would be there.

The prospects were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Arlington danced in their heads;

And Karen in her kerchief, and Jeff in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
Jeff sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The light on the yard of his swell Texas home
Shone especially bright on his swell garden gnome,
When what to his wondering eyes should come forth,

But Mr. Prince Fielder and several cohorts!
With ankles recovered, and disks un-herniated,
Banister saw a lineup card and became quite elated!

More rapid than eagles his players they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
“Now, Darvish! now, Holland! Scheppers, Ross, and Telis!
On, Rua, Chirinos, Leonys, Feliz!
To the top of division, to the top of the AL!
Now hit the ball! Run real fast! Pitch the ball well!

As fervently as haters on twitter would tweet,
So worked the players to train for the heat.
With punching bags, wind sprints, and weight rooms galore,
These players kept training, and always more.

With so many players given clean bills of health,
This roster’s great talent may be hidden in stealth.
These players rehabs go so well and so quick now
I feel it’s a gift from dear old St Nick, wow!
The young guns are learning from Beltre and Colby
How to play like professionals and how to play boldly.

Ranger’s future looks bright with Joey Gallo and Jorge,
Don’t forget Chi Chi, Jake Thompson, Nick Williams. Goodness sakes!
These young studs will continue the Ranger’s success
But only if Ranger baseball is still hash tag blessed.

Yes baseball ain’t here but I still watch old plays
Mark your calendars, ’twill be back in 58 days.
‘Til then I’ll watch Mavs, Stars, Cowboys, College Football,
But I’ll still be real mopey til I hear bat hit ball.

So enjoy you some Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Festivus,
Your New Year can be spent reading stuff by me and the rest of us.
Please let me exclaim, ere I drive out of sight.

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

I hope you enjoyed my first recorded attempt at poetry because I sure did. In all sincerity I would like to extend my gratitude to all of you who read my words. May you and your families all be blessed and #blessed. Enjoy this holiday season with those you hold dear and go hug someone, preferably not a stranger, and pretend it’s from me.